ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My bed smells like the plague
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
