I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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