Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
