this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
