so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
