Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
