You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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