So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
