he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
