You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
