Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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