3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
