Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
