He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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