Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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