it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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