I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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