Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
