remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
