Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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