Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
