No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She's the barista slut.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
