I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
