I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
