don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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