I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
