And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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