are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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