So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
