super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
