she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
