I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
