Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
