I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
