sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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