I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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