I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
