I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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