Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
