No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
