please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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