3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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