plz talk dirty to me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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