peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just tell him i said nine months
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
