Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
