woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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