Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
