so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
