I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
love makes seman taste better
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
