i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
