So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
