If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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